Note to the Reader: The readings are meant to be read slowly, hesitating as if you are in conversation and listening intently to the part of you speaking.

 

I am Your Broken Place     

I am the broken place.

You know me.

I am rough on some edges, other edges seem more dull.

I may be what wakes you up in the middle of the night.

I am certainly working at making you different.

You want me gone. But I am here nonetheless.

I AM a part of you.

Get to know me.

You see me as darkness, pain and hopelessness.

I am sometimes those things – but more.

One day, you will see me in a different light.

One day, you will know me better.

For now, live with me.

Someone will hopefully comfort you in your brokenness.

I am YOUR broken place.

You know me.

The harsh reality is that I am a piece of the puzzle that makes you you.

I am, in that essence, very powerful.

But the true reality is that I am no lesser or greater or more powerful than love or joy … even if it does not feel that way sometimes.

I am a part of you……….but not all of you.

I may be the piece that is in your life right now.

I may be an old piece that you are just now getting close to.

I may be the piece that you look at with bitter memory from days gone by.

I may be the piece that you don’t understand, yet.

I may be the piece that has grown in you and made you reach out to others who are broken.

Whatever I am to you today or tomorrow or in another season of your life –

I am YOUR broken place.

You know me.

If you and I are to survive and heal (whatever that may mean to us)

You must own me as your broken place.

And together we will move forward on this journey towards our birthright of wholeness.

 

I am Shame       

I am what you call shame

You know me

You get mixed up because you think I am all of you

You are not your shame

I am yours because you carry me, but you are not mine to own

I make you look at yourself and not feel good

Let’s be clear about where I come from

I am not from light

So… I must come from somewhere hidden deep in the darkness

But I am your shame – a feeling – like guilt, anger, fear

You just don’t like talking about me much

You see I like to hide

Because that is where my power lies … in the dark

Funny thing … when the light gets near me I feel really small and lose my voice

So I am more comfortable speaking to you alone and whispering in your ear

Reminding you that I am here

You mistake me often for my second cousin: guilt.

But I am different than guilt.

Guilt you feel when there is an actual behavior to identify.

But me… oh you feel me all over and you believe I am all of you – that I am you and you are me.

I convince you we are one.  I live deep within the core of your “self”, if you let me.

Of course, other people are really good at showing you I exist also.

Probably because they never listen to their own shame.

But you can listen to me.

I will tell you a secret…. There is a remedy for me.

I am shame and I thrive on secret places and dark paths.

But I am so weak, practically non-existent in the face of light and truth and grace.

I will admit to you …. since you are listening to me… that I am really … an illusion master with a message.

When you feel me, I remind you of what you need deep within – grace, light, truth.

Go to those spaces and …. I get lost.  Go.  I have made my impact.

Release me and go to Truth and Grace.

I am your Pain

I am your pain

Raw and brittle to the touch

You feel me like nothing before

I grab you, shake you

And yet you see so clearly when I have hold of you

Life, crisp and real

People, raw and real

Why is it that this crisp clarity only accompanies you when I am here?

Because I block out the fluff and insanity of life?

Because I hold you to task?

Because I take up space and make you look at me?

Because that is one of my jobs maybe?

I am the great pause button of your life

Everything around you is at a standstill

Yet moving so fast you cannot breathe

I am the great exposer of your core

Your fears and your loneliness

Yet at the same time of feeling disconnected

You somehow are more connected than ever.