about dried beans and broken glass …

My Mom  often told the story of when I was a toddler and she had invited a friend over for coffee. To keep me busy she gave me two empty pots, a bag of dried beans and a large spoon. Pouring the beans in one pot she proceeded to show me how to use the spoon to scoop beans out and put them in the other pot. Satisfied that I would be engaged in this creative activity, she proceeded to visit with her friend. I scooped a couple of spoonfuls from one pot to the pot to the other. Then I picked up the pot with the most beans and poured it into the other pot, got up and walked away. This is me. I have no memory of this event. My Mom took great pleasure in telling the story about how she tried to keep me occupied with a repetitive task and how I seemed to grasp the big picture, was having nothing to do with the tediousness of it all and foiled her plans.

Fast forward to pre-teen years and another story unfolds. My parents had some delivery at our house. The drivers opened their truck door in such away that they shattered the back window of our family station wagon (yes, that long ago!). Being the oldest (yep, you are catching on) I ran to tell my Dad. He came out, had some discussion with the men and then turned to me and told me to hold my hands out. I did. He then explained that we were going to clear out some of this broken glass very carefully. He instructed me to be very still and filled my cupped hands with bits of broken glass. Reminding me to keep my hands steady and walk slowly, he showed me where to dump the glass. I don’t know how long this task took or remember what Mom thought of this plan. I simply remember the enormous sense of responsibility and honor to be “chosen” to hold this dangerous broken glass. At risk to cuts and all kinds of other possibilities, the sense of mattering and being trusted to help take care of the mess stands out decades later. These are the stories I base the title of this work on….words about the stuff of my life. For connection, for embracing my authentic self and just for fun…I invite you in.

So how do the beans, pots and broken glass relate to the stuff of my life? I believe that somehow I have embodied those stories: getting the big picture and moving on, being highly responsible for helping, fixing messes and being entrusted with high risk tasks. I am sure there are more stories that I embody, but these two stick with me still at age 60. I just took a step in my career path that is like nothing I have attempted before…. I decided with great inner peace to do something solely for the quality of my life – no holding broken glass, no scooping beans. I am the beans and glass now. We will see what I do with them. Now the stuff of my life comes from a core that is my relationship with God. I cannot take credit. I can say I was more surprised than anyone. This major decision was to retire from a full time job that I loved. I kept a part time role where I am completely in charge. . I released and released and dreamed and embraced a whole new day. And …I started a blog on the stuff of my life. I do not know what is coming. It does not matter. I will write, explore, breathe and be a human being. Stay tuned.